WTF?
by zivahz
Summary: Of stoic, vague, perplexing, incomprehensible, arrogant and sinfully handsome men, he sure as hell took the crown. A series of short stories, mainly ItaSaku. AU, Non-massacre, mostly Sakura-centric.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: WTF?**

**Chapter one: Of Confusing Men**

Rating: M (just to be safe)

Author: zivahjc

Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, do not own Naruto so no profits are made from this.

A/N: I wanted to try and write something umm…happy? Well, just not as sad or as painful as I normally end up with. Read and review please! I am still very new to this so any feedback on this or how I can improve my writing will be highly appreciated.

_Italics_ – thoughts

She could not believe it. She absolutely refused to believe it. _This is definitely not happening! _She inhaled a shaky breath through her nose as she felt her viridian eyes shut on their own volition. The tingling and warm sensation spread from her soft, pink lips down to her neck that his left hand was gently cupping. A small spark of something flared to life in the pit of her stomach. She could not help but release an almost inaudible moan when she felt his lips gently move against hers.

That seemed to be the reaction he had been waiting for. He tightened the grip of his right hand on her waist and gently but firmly pulled her up to him making her stand on her toes as her front pressed flush against his hard, muscular body making her painfully conscious of his masculinity. The relatively rough fingers trailing upwards on her neck and into her pink locks, the scent of his intoxicating cologne mixed with something that was undeniably 'him', the feel of his crisp gray business suit pressed against her pink scrubs. The spark smoldered into a flame steadily fanning outwards…

All those observations flew out the window when her lips were parted and a tongue surged into her mouth. This time, the moan was very audible and her hands moved up from their lax position at her side to tangle into his thick, black hair that was held back by a simple band.

She felt him smile against her mouth before he used that talented tongue of his to almost bring her to her knees. _Have I always been this sensitive?_ The flame was now a roaring inferno, almost consuming her. Sakura could not think straight. She had never experienced such pleasure from a simple kiss. It was overwhelming her…

She felt him draw back and set her gently on her feet. Her eyes were still closed. She did not want to open them and face the world outside the bubble he had created. Then again you can only ignore reality for so long. The hushed whispers and giggles were the deciding factor. She opened her eyes only to be met by the twinkling obsidian eyes of one Uchiha Itachi. The small, amused smile she could handle; but the thoroughly satisfied and smug look on his face had her eyes narrowing in seconds.

"What the hell do you think you are doing? We are in a hospital! A Children's Hospital no less!"

Her thoroughly disgruntled and slightly hysterical voice seemed to amuse him more and only served to draw more attention to them. He simply raised an eyebrow in return.

"So, dinner at seven? I will pick you up at your place. We'll continue this…conversation then."

After swiftly pecking her cheek, Itachi strode out of the hospital reception without a single backward glance as though he had not just pulled the rug from under her feet. She was still gaping at the entrance when he pulled away in his black Audi. _The nerve of that man! How dare he just march in like he owns the place, grab me, k…k…kiss me and leave with no explanation whatsoever._

Naruto, who had until now been unsuccessfully trying to muffle his laughter, finally gave up on attempting to be quiet and doubled over in laughter. It was then that she noticed the glances from other people in the reception area ranging from shock to pure amusement, some pointing as others giggled, especially the children. _Damn, there were children present!_ She couldn't blame them. Itachi Uchiha, the perpetually single heir/current vice president of Uchiha Corps who always went to the extreme just to keep his life private, had just thoroughly kissed her in public! And she had no idea why.

After whacking Naruto upside the head and ignoring a whine of "Sakura-chan!" she turned to the other person who seemed to be as stunned as her.

"Sasuke", she asked through gritted teeth, with a clearly fake smile on her face, "care to explain to me why your brother just kissed me?"

"Hell if I know," was the so not helpful reply. He threw her an assessing look, "you seemed to enjoy it".

She hurled the closest object that she could grasp as hard as possible at his head before stalking off after collecting her files from a bewildered Ino seated behind the reception desk.

"Ow! Dammit Sakura!"

Luckily it was just Ino's empty water bottle.

**The End.**

A/N: hope you enjoyed it!


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: WTF?**

**Chapter two: Of Sinfully Handsome Men**

Rating: M

Author: zivahjc

Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, do not own Naruto so no profits are made from this.

A/N: Since I generally write when the inclination hits, updating regularly is a bit of a challenge but I will try to do so. This turned out a bit longer than I wanted (the words just kept on coming!) Anyway, as always, read and review!

_Italics_ – thoughts

Sakura's eyebrow twitched uncontrollably in irritation as she briskly walked to Sasuke and Itachi's apartment, her ire growing with each step. _That damned idiot_! She resisted the urge to hit something instead saving it for Sasuke's arm. Or face. She wasn't really picky. He knew today was the due date for the anatomy reference book that he borrowed from her. _More like pilfered_. Seeing as she wasn't ready to pay the exorbitant fine Tsunade took sheer pleasure in imposing upon her as she was an 'example' to the rest, she had to pick it up from him. _He'd better be there._ _And thank God that Itachi won't be_.

It had been a week since 'the incident' as she came to think of it and also a week since she last saw him. She was not exactly avoiding him. She just really felt the urge to hang out with Ino that evening after work. The fact that she ended up sleeping over only showed they had so much catching up to do. And staying at Naruto's for the next two days was totally normal; convenient even. He lived closest to the hospital so she crashed there often enough. She even had a drawer to herself. She went home after that. However, it had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Sasuke inadvertently let it slip that Itachi flew out to another state on business.

After ringing the bell twice with no response, she muttered an expletive and made use of the spare key Sasuke had given her. After all, he rarely bothered with the door unless he was expecting someone and she had been too annoyed to call ahead. A cursory glance at the lounge showed that he wasn't there. _Definitely in his room then._ There was some soft rock music playing so she doubted he heard her come in. A diabolical smile curled her lips as she thought of the various ways she could punish him.

She quietly tip-toed down the corridor to his room and gently opened the door and peeked into the room. He wasn't there but she could hear some sounds coming from the adjoining bathroom. She crept to the door and pressed her ear against it. There wasn't any sound of running water. He was probably styling his hair. She knew from experience just how ridiculously long it took to make that 'duck butt' hairstyle of his. _Blackmail material! _She quickly took out her phone and switched to the camera. Internally cackling with unholy glee at the ingenuity of her plan, she burst into the bathroom with a "Smile Sasuke!"

He was facing the huge mirror mounted above the sinks, his back to her and hands running through his dark hair that reached just beneath his shoulder blades. _That is not Sasuke! What is he doing here? Shit, shit, shit…!_ Unadulterated dread filled her in seconds. She cursed the fact that she encouraged them to convert the master bedroom into a library cum study since they had a vast collection of books and Itachi supposedly carried a lot of work home. _At least he would be in his own freaking bathroom!_ Sakura was on the verge of hyperventilating.

Despite that, she couldn't help it when her gaze strayed down to the white towel wrapped around his waist that reached just below his knees. He moved his hands down to his sides drawing her attention to his reflection. Her sharp intake of breath caught her by surprise. She could clearly see the well-toned body and washboard abs. His chest was very lightly dusted with dark hair, and a happy trail that lead to… Her eyes snapped up to his face. He looked at her, face totally blank like he had not just caught her gawking at his semi-nude body.

Sakura felt as though she had just had an epiphany. She knew Itachi was good looking, he was an Uchiha after all, but seeing him like this… the man was sex incarnated! She let out a shuddering breath and that got him smirking. "Still taking the photo?" he asked in a humorous tone, "I assure you it'll last longer."

_Photo?_ Sakura belatedly realized her phone was still in her hands and poised to take the photo. She muttered a jumbled version of "I'm sorry", her face flaming with embarrassment, and turned around hell bent on getting out of there as fast as possible! Of course things were never that easy.

She let out a small squeak when she felt his arms capture her from behind and draw her to him. _How the hell did he move so fast?_ She tried to wriggle out of his grasp but quickly froze in place when she realized just whom she was essentially just rubbing against. _Damn it! He's still half-naked! And why is he here anyway? Mmmmm, he has a nice scent... No, I need to focus on escape!_ He chuckled and she felt his body shaking with mirth. Before she could protest against being held captive, Itachi quickly spun her around, pressed her back against the door and covered her mouth with his.

The kiss was better than she remembered. The minty taste was coupled with the fresh masculine scent that wrapped around her, the wet hair that she couldn't resist sinking her fingers in, his body seemingly engulfing her frame, his hands stroking her waist… It was no wonder that Sakura was a moaning, panting mess in an embarrassingly short amount of time.

He then placed her hands low on his abdomen, covered them with his own then dragged them slowly and sensually up to his slightly damp chest while his tongue still played with hers. Sakura felt faint. Itachi's breath hitched. The feel of the muscles shifting sporadically beneath her palm, made them tingle and itch to touch more. It felt so good. He felt so good. She heard the faint, deep, groan he released when she traced her hands back down on her own accord. She wanted to hear it again. But before she knew what was happening, Itachi drew away and gently pushed her into Sasuke's room. _Nooooo…! Don't stop!_

"Sasuke left your book on his bedside table. He said thanks." With that he left a bewildered looking Sakura staring at a closed door, arousal still coursing through her body. _What the hell! Oh, the anatomy book. Wait, Sasuke left the book…he knew Itachi would be home. That little fucker! _

**The End.**

A/N: So, what do you think? Hope you enjoyed it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer**: Naruto is Masashi Kishimoto's.

**A/N:** While this took longer than I thought it would (so much for regular updates), the next chapter is almost done so that should hopefully make up for the delay. As always, read and review. Enjoy!

_Italics_ - thoughts

**Chapter Three: Of Blunt Men**

* * *

><p>Naruto cautiously stared at Sakura across the table. He was finding it extremely hard to enjoy his ramen while she was radiating anger, gloom and doom. The maniacal look on her face as she decimated innocent slices of tomatoes on her plate while muttering about idiot duck-butts and their confusing brothers did not help either. So when he saw said brother to the duck-butt walking towards their table situated at the corner of the hospital cafeteria, there was just one thing he could do.<p>

* * *

><p>The first clue that something was wrong was when Naruto abruptly stood up, declared he had eaten his fill of lunch and bolted straight for the hospital cafeteria's exit. His plate of ramen was still half full. The second was the sudden relative quiet and hushed whispers in the room. The third was the scent of 'that' cologne; she only knew one person who used it. Confirmation of her fears came when she felt an arm wrap around her and a kiss placed on her cheek. Itachi Uchiha had once again found her.<p>

To say that Sakura was aggravated would be a massive understatement. Her week was certainly not going the way she had hoped. Not only had Sasuke managed to weasel himself into attending a training at another hospital for a week, but he also ignored her calls which meant she could not even yell at him over the phone to release her pent-up fury. The numerous messages she had sent him detailing exactly what she was going to do to him when she got her hands on his scrawny little neck were not very fulfilling either.

Thanks to the little bathroom scene, she grudgingly accepted that she found Itachi physically appealing; which meant the last person she wanted to deal with today was the same one seated next to her, eating a sandwich without a care in the world. She opted to studiously ignore him. Five minutes of silence was quite an achievement in her books.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she hissed at him.

He calmly glanced at her and took another bite of his sandwich. When she had given up hope of him answering and was seriously considering hurling something at him, he finally spoke up, "Having lunch."

Sakura could feel a vein throbbing on her forehead. "Why here?" she asked through gritted teeth.

"Their food is tolerable and I wanted to see you," was the calm response.

That threw her off a little. She hadn't expected he would be so blunt let alone honest. _Who just frankly states such things anyway!_

"Why?"

"You refused to go on a date with me so this was the only alternative. I waited for you for half an hour by the way."

She at least had the decency to blush. Her anger nose-dived when faced with confusion. "Why are you doing this?" She sounded almost tired and defeated.

He watched her now, food and audience forgotten. "Didn't you enjoy the kisses?"

Her complexion was similar to the pulverized tomatoes on her plate. Sakura knew she was probably gaping like a fish but that was the least of her worries at the moment.

"Why the hell would you ask me that?" she all but squeaked. _With such a blasé expression too!_

"I answered your questions and now it's your turn," he simply stated.

That was Sakura's cue to leave the cafeteria. The quiet laughter and solid footfalls behind her confirmed he followed her. She quickened her pace planning on how best to ditch him. That plan was moot the moment he caught her by the elbow and dragged her through an open door and closed it behind her. Being trapped alone with Itachi in Tsunade's office was a recipe for disaster.

"Answer the question."

"Ummm… No."

"If you refuse I will kiss you until you do." His face was deadly serious. He meant it.

"Are you threatening me with a kiss?" she asked incredulously.

He shrugged then answered, "I did not say it was a single kiss."

Stumped, Sakura considered the catch-22 situation she was in. She closed her eyes and tried to calm the butterflies in her stomach. _I should have paid more attention to the dumb meditating class Ino dragged me to._ _Damn the man for making me confused!_ _Nonetheless, two can play this game_. After all, she had never considered herself meek and playing the damsel in distress was not her forte.

She opened her eyes, stared straight at him and answered with an unwavering voice, "I liked it. A lot."

She could see the smirk forming and that only served to further infuriate her. So without further ado, she walked up to him, stood on her toes, slipped her fingers in his hair and kissed him. It was hot, wet, arousing and she was not in the least bit inhibited. Her tongue licked and then parted his lips before delving into his mouth to tangle with his. She completely molded her front to his frame and felt her breasts flatten against his chest. When he appeared to have regained his wits and placed his hands on her tiny waist, she let out a sensual moan then took a step back leaving Itachi with a befuddled look on his face. It was Sakura's turn to smirk as she casually strolled out of the office. That was until she spotted Tsunade leaning against the wall right next to the door, diabolical smile in place.

**END**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer**: Naruto is Masashi Kishimoto's.

**A/N:** I have officially given up trying to regularly update my stories. Somehow, something always comes up! That being said, thank you so much to all who reviewed and even more so to everyone for being patient with me. :)

_Italics_ – thoughts

**Chapter Four: Of Hallucinations and Revelations.**

Sakura tried to calm her palpitating heart as she vehemently cursed for the umpteenth time. _What the hell is he doing here?_ She cautiously opened the door and peeked through the gap only to see his relatively blurry image walking towards her. She wildly swung about, eyes darting around the room, as she shut the door behind her. The drink in her hand sloshed in her cup and almost poured on the carpet. Quickly tottering to the wardrobe - her only choice of a hiding place bar under the bed- she locked herself inside then peeked through the louvers. The door creaked open…

* * *

><p>Sakura was virtually at the end of her tether. Placating Tsunade was exhausting. All the running around after some snooty regulars' kids and sneaking of alcohol into the hospital, past a hawk-eyed Shizune, for the past couple of days had taken its toll on her. So when Naruto suggested that they should go out for a drink and just hang out, he was taken aback by her ecstatic squeal accompanied by a hug.<p>

She had envisioned a simple night out at a bar or lounge. Instead, they were at his cousin's place celebrating…something (she had not paid attention). Admittedly, Deidara knew how to throw a party: the music was fantastic, the crowd was great and the alcohol was flowing. The only issue was that there were only a handful of her acquaintances present and she was not in the mood for small talk with strangers.

Ending up seated on the farthest end of the couch with Naruto next to her was nothing short of a blessing. He was enthusiastically catching up with some red-haired guy she vaguely remembered meeting once called Gaara. That, of course, gave her the opportunity to contemplate her woes.

The Itachi issue was always at the forefront of her mind these days and that in itself was aggravating. Sakura had finally admitted to herself that she liked him. The little she had known added to the much she had garnered after that initial kiss just seemed to draw her in. He was intriguing and he had somehow managed to rouse her curiosity, no easy feat. And he made her feel wanted; really wanted.

Therein lay the crux of her problem. She had no idea of what he was after. Did he like her or was he just messing around? Perhaps he was only interested in the physical aspect. The fact that she had never heard of his name being linked with any other lady in a romantic sense just complicated the issue further. She had no reference point. _If only Sasuke was back_… Her hold on her drink tightened. _That damn idiot_.

Deciding that she had pondered the matter for far too long, the subsequent course of action was to stop her overactive mind from treading dangerous waters. Naturally, getting high was the quickest solution so when Deidara came in with tequila shots, she quickly downed three at a go while being cheered on by a gleeful Deidara and a delighted albeit slightly shocked Naruto. He knew how cautious she was about drinking since she could not hold her liquor. It took all of twenty minutes for her to get tipsy.

Not having succeeded to outrun her contemplation, she took Deidara's advice and took 'just one more shot'. Naruto stopped her after the fourth time she agreed. She was already buzzed so she did not kick up a fuss instead choosing to observe the people in the room through a haze while gently swaying her body to the rhythm of the music.

Naruto was boisterously laughing while Gaara looked on exasperatedly; Rock Lee was doing some sort of weird, energetic dance move trying to get Neji and Tenten to join him while they appeared to be looking for the fastest escape route. And then there was Itachi who was talking to a blue guy.

She did a double take_. Itachi and a blue guy? _Blue people did not exist and Itachi obviously could not be at the same party as her. Giggling, she wondered what Deidara had added to those shots to make her watched as Deidara walked up to and started conversing with the blue guy excitedly waving his arms about. She laughed out loud at the absurdity of Deidara conversing with figments of both their imaginations. _He must look like an idiot talking to himself. _The moment passed, her laughter died down and then it hit her, it was impossible to share a hallucination.

Turning to Naruto who had been amusedly watching her since she started laughing, she placidly asked "Naruto, who is Deidara speaking to?"

"Dei?" he asked while scanning the room. "He's over there with some weird guy and Ita…"

The name died on his lips as he apprehensively looked at her increasingly pale face.

_Itachi is here? _

Sakura was off the couch and drunkenly attempting to sprint from the room in an instant. Weaving through the mass of fuzzy bodies was more of a challenge than she anticipated. She turned into the first room she came across and rapidly swung the door shut behind her.

* * *

><p>Itachi sat on the window seat, legs crossed at the ankles, the picture of composure. Deidara on the other hand could hardly keep still standing in front of him.<p>

"You kissed her!" Deidara all but shrieked his voice was dripping with smugness.

Itachi coolly glanced at him. "Who told you?"

"Kisame. So there's no point in denying it," he nonchalantly stated.

Itachi merely shrugged, and acquiesced with a nod. "It is none of your business."

"Of course it is!" Deidara heatedly declared. "You're emotionally impeded and I am one of your closest friends! Besides, you owe me considering I am the one who got you to make a move in the first place."

"That was pure chance," Itachi said completely unfazed.

Sakura on the other hand was in shock. It was too much for her muddled brain to completely grasp. She also had the strangest urge to hug and hit Deidara at the same time.

"So, did you tell her you love her?"

Itachi stood up and headed for the door with a sigh.

_Love?_ Sakura's eyes almost bugged out of their sockets. 'Baffled' was a massive understatement of her state. Her body shifted imperceptibly forward and he unconsciously held her breath.

"Wait, don't leave!" Deidara whined as he bodily held Itachi back. "I promise to stop bugging you and behave if you answer me."

Itachi let Deidara slowly steer him back to his initial position at the window seat. Three words turned her mind to mush.

"I like her."

Deidara's eyes narrowed.

"A lot." Itachi capitulated.

Deidara's answering smile was dazzling. He nodded once then loudly called out as he headed for the door, "Sakura, you can come out now!"

**END**


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